Alan Watts and Conflict Resolution

Bringing Spicy Internet Comments to the Altar

The other day I posted this quote on social media.

“The self that needs to be improved must also carry out the improvements.”

It’s an explanation of a paradox that Alan Watts revisits often, our illusion of the separate self. If you’re familiar with his speeches you may have heard him laugh about the student who thinks he’s qualified enough to choose his own teacher. How can a person who needs a guru be left with the responsibility of selecting a guru?

For some reason this post reached out from the internet and created some three dimensional discomfort in a person I know, so much so that they decided to leave a comment and question if it was actually a real quote.

First off, if accurate knowledge was the intended outcome, this question could have been answered with a google search, instead I got this passive aggressive semi spicy response.

Instead of just letting it evaporate like I normally would, I decided to bring it to the altar.

Right off the top there is a tone of condescension, but I didn’t focus on it. I definitely thought the call for discernment was funny, considering this person has my phone number and could have answered his own question without involving me in public scrutiny.

After the second semi spicy comment I realized this was a dead end.

He still didn’t take the time to look into it, he doubled down on his perceived authority, and the cherry on top is claiming to have introduced me to the material in the first place. This is where I exit.

I’ll admit that maybe I could have gone a little deeper to express the fullness of the idea, but that wasn’t the point.

I use social media as a place to take notes on my experience. Not everything I share will be complete deep dive into a complex philosophy, or doing all the math to unravel a paradox.

Sometimes it will be a sentence that’s rattling around in my head, or a quote that I’m unpacking for an article or song lyrics. I don’t post for responses, contrarian or otherwise.

I don’t post to stir up conflict for engagement. All I’m ever doing is working through my own experience and trying to make creative contributions to people who might be on a similar journey. Anyone who doesn’t find value is free to keep scrolling.

I’m willing to engage with people who are genuinely curious about my ideology, but we are in the age of information, our edification is our own responsibility.

I will go out on a limb to say this. If you’ve been listening to Alan Watts for decades and somehow still think the proper course of action is to interrupt someone else's experience with unsolicited (incorrect) critiques, you may have missed the point.

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The Bigger Picture.

One thing I do know is that these lessons are not about other people, they are about me in relation to other people. They are about the personality traits and states of being I want to move closer to and the ones I want to move farther away from.

This started with a single interaction, but it’s not about a single person. It’s really about the way we navigate our experience and how we interact with people along the way. Steven Pressfield spoke about this concept in “The War of Art”

He called it Hierarchy vs Territory.

Hierarchy is a system where people measure their worth against the perceived value of others. It’s a mindset driven by external validation and competition. It thrives on status, comparison and vanity metrics. People who align themselves with hierarchy tend to covet reputation more than character. It’s about how they want to be seen, not how they want to be.

Territory is a system where the work is the reward. The effort goes into discovering and aligning with your own personal values, and fulfillment comes from creation more than the external rewards. Territory is grounded in self-sustaining internal exploration. This is where creative people do their best work, and avoid the traps of hierarchical thinking.

I’ve been on both sides and I like myself and my outcomes a lot more when I’m in the headspace of “territory.”

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Bring it to the altar

So why did I decide to write this instead of just ignoring it?

Because one major principle I’ve recently committed to, is taking every opportunity to apply a creative perspective to anything in my authentic experience.

Instead of looking for content to create, I look for the deeper meaning in what seem like mundane transactions. I’m not just an artist when I’m in front of a canvas.

Every aspect of my life is available to be transformed and mined for resources.

I call this process bringing it to the altar. I put things under a microscope and zoom in to find the lesson I was meant to extract.

This is how I solve my own problems. It’s how I find meaning and purpose. It’s how I approach writing essays, and eventually this same process will open the pathway to all sorts of material that may help other people untie their own knots.

If nothing else, this was a gift. An opportunity to exercise this creative ritual and to make this contribution.

What contribution?

My personal framework for Internet conflict resolution.

Step 1. Don’t create conflict.

I don’t give any unsolicited advice because I don’t make assumptions about other people’s trajectory.

Even if I think a person is wrong, I would rather be available for council than to show up and offer correction. I think a lot of these behaviors are rooted in people’s desire for connection.

Most people who bring dissonant vibes to social media are trying to create bonds or get a better understanding of who we are. But instead of asking for clarity they want to rassle, because negative engagement is better than no engagement.

I don’t have anything against the people that love to go back and forth, that is a game you can play. I just understand my own alignment enough to avoid the things that don’t serve me.

Step 2. Realize that everybody ain’t qualified for every conversation, and that’s ok.

Learn to identify people who have a spirit of curiosity vs a spirit of dominance.

Understand who is interested in the truth and who is interested in presenting themselves as an authority.

A person who wants to learn the truth can see something they disagree with or something they think is incorrect and their first course of action is to research it. They are inquisitive by nature and driven by intrigue.

A person who wants to present themselves as an authority sees something that rubs them the wrong way and their first course of action is to be confrontational. They are usually arrogant by nature and driven by egotism and self importance.

People who call for discernment while ignoring an opportunity to use it.

If we want to protect our peace it’s important to figure out who deserves our engagement.

Step 3. Transmutation.

Escape the primal narrative of “hero, victim, villain” and move toward the next level narrative. Internal conflict resolution.

Focus on what these interactions are telling you about yourself, and how you can reconfigure the experience and use it to your benefit.

Art is life, and life is art. Why let this happening evaporate when I can capture the vapor and use the condensation to water my plants?

The stones they throw have a purpose, and you’re the alchemist that turns base materials into gold.

“What stands in the way becomes the way.” -Marcus Aurelius

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This was an unexpected update. But it’s perfectly timed with the arrival of the age of Aquarius, and exactly in alignment with my newfound worldview.

I appreciate you taking the time explore this territory with me.

I’d love to hear about how you deal with online conflict, leave me a comment and let me know what frameworks you use to decide whether you engage or defuse.

May this day bring us all a step closer to holistic fulfillment.